Book Review: Royal Pains and Giveaway!

Royals are the ultimate level of the privileged sect.  Their lives are notoriously unavailable and therefore theoretically private to us small folk.  Perhaps that is why we have always found them so interesting...especially when they are so badly behaved.  Leslie Carroll (no relation) is no stranger to the tantalizing, and perhaps more scandalous, tales of royals throughout the ages.  Her newest book, Royal Pains: A Rogues' Gallery of Brats, Brutes, and Bad Seeds is a collection of tales of royal family member all over the world, and throughout history who were, well, a big pain!

Beginning with King John of England and ending with the current sovereign of that country's late sister, Princess Margaret, Carroll covers both well known royal pains and not-so-well known pains.  For example, I had previously been unaware of how emo Archduke Rudolf of Austria was; it would be the cause of his untimely end.  Her expertise and love of English history is very apparent, with many of the chapters being dedicated to the badly behaved family members of the British monarchy so anglophiles will surely enjoy this read.  However, variety is the name of the game with this collection of royal biographies; not only are the subjects from different families and times they also distinct themselves in their uniquely painful behavior.  Some are pains in their love of mutilating those they rule over while others are painful in their willful pursuit of hedonism.  So who are these guilty parties lucky enough to be honored in Royal Pains you may ask?   Carroll has quite an intriguing selection: King John, Vlad the Impaler, George Duke of Clarence, Richard III, Ivan the Terrible, Lettice Knollys, Elizabeth Bathory, Henry Duke of Cumberland, Pauline Bonaparte, Archduke Rudolf, Prince Albert Victor, and Princess Margaret.

Royal Pains is one of those lovely reads that you either can't put down or you can read at your leisure, picking it up when you are in the mood for some Richard III gossip.  As a fellow enthusiast of English history I actually found myself enjoying the non-British royals' stories more.  Perhaps this was due to their stories being more foreign to me.  I also guiltily relished in all the gross and gruesome details of the lives of Vlad the Impaler and Elizabeth Bartgory* Bathory.  Those who already know of the pain-inducing antics of these royals may want to skip over this one but those who have yet to be introduced will likely enjoy this introduction to those who wore crowns or coronets on their unworthy heads.  Just don't get any ideas!

Giveaway!
Want a copy of Leslie Carroll's Royal Pains?  Leave a comment describing how you would be a simply delectable royal pain.  Winners will be drawn at random and announced Tuesday July 5 and have 5 days to claim their prize.  Good luck!

*Freudian slip?

Liotard's Portraits of the Royal Family

In his long life the pastel-ist, Jean-Étienne Liotard had the privilege of rendering the portraits of not one but two royal families.  You can find his portraits of Maria Theresa's brood on Lauren's blog today.  Here are Liotard's portraits of Frederick, Prince of Wales' family from 1754.

Frederick Prince of Wales

Princess Augusta Charlotte of Wales

George III

Henry Frederick, Duke of Cumberland

Princess Caroline Matilda

Princess Louisa

Tart of the Week: Lady Henrietta Grosvenor

Henrietta Vernon was born in the most fortunate of circumstances. Not only was she an aristocrat (grand-daughter of the famous politician Thomas Wentworth) but she was a noted beauty. Therefore, it may come as no surprise that she was married very early in life. She met her future husband in one of the most cinematically romantic of ways, during a rainstorm. Richard Grosvenor, the 1st Baron Grovesnor captured the young girl's fancy despite the 14 year age gap between them. They married within a month of their initial meeting, in 1764.

Henrietta soon realized that her hast in marrying Richard had been a huge mistake. He was a huge gambler, even by 18th century standards. We're talking £250,000 in one night (more than a million today)! When he wasn't gaming away the couple's money he was out whoring in every brothel in London. Yuck! Imagine the diseases he brought back to his young bride. It was not long before Henrietta admitted to feeling "ill used." Do you blame her eye for wandering?

Henrietta's attention fell on the King's brother, Henry Duke of Cumberland who just happened to be the same age as her. Henry himself, already had a rebellious history, it was rumoured that he had married a commoner, Olivia Wilmot and there was to be more commoner marriages in his future as well. Henry was young and royalty; there was a dangerous appeal to having an affair with him. The couple would meet in secret in inns around the country. One time, while they were out at a friend's house in Cavendish Square Henrietta asked for a private meeting with the Duke to talk about her brother in the dining room. They were excused but after a half hour, the friend decided there had been enough talking and went in to interrupt. She found Henry on top of Lady Grosvenor, "with her petticoats up" on her couch. There is nothing I hate more than rude house guests! A crim con trial was soon underway.

As with just about every other crim con trial, this was the talk of the town, especially since it involved royalty. Henrietta, was outraged at her husband's hypocracy. She slept with one man and was to be damned for all time while her husband constantly frequented brothels. She went to bawdy houses in search of witnesses to testify upon Richard's many infidelities. But this was not to aid her defense. Henrietta and Henry's dirty letters to each other was enough to award Richard damages of £10,000. After a mere seven years of marriage, Henrietta and Richard were seperated in 1771.

Now Henrietta was an outcast with a mean £1,200 allowance. But rather than wallow in the sorrow of her situation she made the best of it, and became friends with other social outcasts. Soon she was seen at the Pantheon arm in arm with Lady Worsley. The papers would follow her, in hopes of catching her in a scandalous act with a rake. Once they reported that she showed up to the opera with a different man every night. Well, can you blame her? With such a small allowance, Henrietta needed rich men to support her elegant lifestyle.

In 1802 Richard finally kicked the bucket. Relieving Henrietta of her marriage limbo. A month later Henrietta was no longer Lady Grosvenor. She married Lt.-Gen. George de Hochepied, 6th Baron de Hochepied and retired to a quiet life with him until her death in 1828. Her second husband followed, two months later.