Saturday, August 2, 2008

Hunk Alert: Banastre Tarleton


SWM, Soldier/MP, Liverpool, Athletic build, seeking attractive woman, preferably wealthy heiress and not actress.
Likes: Gambling, politics (Tory), Battle Tactics, feathers, taming wild stallions, and frantic carriage rides in the night

You could call me a hero of the American Revolution. With the command of only 150 men I led the massacre of Colonel Buford's 350 soldiers. The Americans claim that I continued to destroy their forces after they waved a white flag but they are dirty, filthy liars! I have eluded death many times but unfortunately lost two fingers in my service to Britain. Ignore what you've seen in the papers and print shops about me, I'm a great guy. And that awful business nicknaming me "The Butcher" may earn me some free pints at the club but I am a family man at heart.

I need a fashionable woman who shares my love of swan feathers and Tory Green and will give me the attention I deserve. Must be open to gambling debts, and share my love for the slave trade.

3 comments:

  1. Have I recently declared my undying love for you and your website? xD

    <33333333333333333333333

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah-but Banastre was a Whig for most of his political career! The "green" was merely the color of his uniform for the British Legion, or "Tarleton's Green Horse."

    Delightful web site! I must visit often!

    ReplyDelete
  3. There's my boy! Yes, Ban was a Whig -- in England. If you are referring to his service in the Americas, then you can generally call the Loyalists & British "Tories".
    And, well, he did not love the slave trade, except to support it for his brothers' sake, as that was their family business for so long.

    I know it is an older post, but I will add to his likes: cricket and carousing with the Prince of Wales.

    No one ought to believe any of the "bad" about him, I'll vouch for him!

    Brava, madam! Thoroughly diverting!

    ReplyDelete