Lady Jersey Shore

"She possesses all the beauty of all the Jerseys..."

-Harriette Wilson

With Miss Snooki gracing the cover of Rolling Stone this week, there's no denying the impact of MTV's Jersey Shore.  People can't get enough of drunken outings, bed-hopping, and drama drama drama.  But before there was a select few enraging the rest of New Jersey with stereotyping the state, there was Lady Jersey, who could Jersey them all out of Seaside.  Let's examine why.

Jersey is All Shore
Many of us know Jersey is a part of England but it is actually closer to France (which is closer to Italy, right?) than to England.  Jersey is a small island off the coast of Normandy.  So Lady Jersey is the countess of a landmass that is all shore.

DTF
Lord Jersey was twice his wife's age and too weak-minded to keep track of her.  Boy, did she take advantage!  The Earl of Carlisle, Viscount of Harcourt, Duke of Devonshire, and Prince of Wales are all on her list on conquests.  The press followed Frances every time she hopped into a new bed, keeping the public updated about the seductress' latest hookups.  Was Lady J just sowing her wild oats? Heck no; by the time she was hooking up with the much-younger Prince, she was past her prime.  Talk about cougars!

Ummm HELLO!
Lady Jersey didn't have friends, she had frenemies.  It seemed as though the woman couldn't enjoy female companionship unless she was making those friends miserable. If you were at a ball and you caught her looking at your man, you had every right to suddenly become all clingy. Lady Jersey was know to specifically go after her friend's husbands when looking for bedfellows.

We Have a Situation Here
One of Lady Jersey's victims was her close friend Georgiana.  While Georgiana was occupying herself with the war effort Lady Jersey decided to swoop in and steal her man.  Guess who told the Duchess about the betrayal? Lady Jersey! The skank went right up to Georgie and told her in a snide joke-like manner that since Georgiana couldn't provide her with a bed at Coxheath (where they were currently staying) she would just take the one in her bedroom.  Sadly a fight did not break out involving slaps and wig-snatching as would have happened had it been me in that situation.

The Jersey Island Dump
"Lady J. is in everything, and by everybody most thoroughly disapproved." scoffed Lady Spencer in 1795.  At age 43 Lady Jersey still hadn't grown up and was up to her old tricks.  Her latest victim was Caroline of Brunswick, the wife of her long-time squeeze, the Prince of Wales.  Lady Jersey did everything in her power to make the princess' life miserable, but her reign of terror had expired a year after Lady Spencer's comment.  Sick of her immaturity, Lady Jersey was shunned when she attended balls and her home was stoned by the lower classes.  Don't mess with Caroline of Brunswick.

Given the size of ladies in the 18th century Lady Jersey could very well have been the same height as super-shorty Snooki.  One thing is for sure though, she was definitely sporting the "pouf" 250 years earlier!

Teen Mom: Bess
Bad Girls Club --18th Century Edition